I feel like this is all I write about nowadays. It feels like I don't have any real problems. I'm not necessarily struggling in school, I may be having some financial issues, but the only thing that really seems to bother me is my emotions.
Why can't I just fucking let it go? Why must I depend on other people to be truly happy. People think I'm doing this to myself, but it's not like I'm enjoying it. Do you think I enjoy only being able to talk about one thing with my friends? Do you think that right beside getting an education, my only other motivation to come to school, is seeing that one person? Does anyone honestly think I'd be doing this to myself.
No one really seems to understand what's really going on in my mind. It's quite unfortunate. I know a lot of people that would help, they just don't know how. And to be quite honest, I don't know how they can help either.
Now that I think about it, I don't think I can actually remember a time in my life, a long period of time, where I was happy, with no worries, no doubts.
I feel like the person I am is just dying a way. Not in the immature emotional type of way, but in a sense that I really think that as a person, I'm dull. I'm not interesting and vibrant like I used to be. What happened?
Seriously, what happened? Did college happen? Did stress happen? Did laziness happen?
The worst part is, I can't even answer these questions, despite them all being about me...
Mood: Not-wanting-to-be-in-school-rather-be-home-sleeping. (Then again, the water tank broke down this morning and I don't think I'd be quite comfortable in a household with no water. I guess I'm sticking around here 'til 6pm...Yay.)
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