I swear I've been going through my highs and lows for the past week and half.
At the moment, I have no idea what level of emotion I've gotten to.
College is harder than I thought. I thought it would be easy considering i have at least 3-7 days to complete assignments, but time fucking flies. Kids, don't take college lightly, especially if you're dedicated to getting to the top. Seriously. I'm not sure whether to just stay at Vanier, or apply once again to Dawson. I really like being able to see my friends on a daily basis, despite college being about any of that at all. To be quite frank, I don't even know if I could afford going to Dawson. I'm in such a financial crisis, not knowing whether I'm fired from my job or not. Barely any money coming in and I have a shit load of things to pay for. This sucks.
As for my personal life. Well, like I've said countless times before, I'm wanted by all the wrong people. Right and left people are going gaga over me (for reasons unknown) but that one person that I truly like and admire, is barely aware of my existence. This feels like high school, I thought I was done with that, guess not.
The even shittier thing is that it feels like I have no one to talk to. I mean, yeah, sure, I can talk to anybody about this certain thing, but no one really has anything to say about it. I respect you listening and all, but some feedback would help. All i get is a bunch of nods and 'are you serious?'. It's not hard to give some feedback once and a while. I'm not asking for a therapy session, just some proof that I'm not talking to the walls. It just makes my problems feel so unimportant. But they are important to me, and for the mean time at least. It's just like, right now, I have a problem, and it will be a problem until I fix it , or get over it, until then, no matter how silly it is, it is most definitely a problem.
I'm also tired of being desired by so many guys thinking with their dicks. I know I'm nothing special, at all. I don't do anything to portray myself as this. I'm just open-minded and people mistake that with being outgoing. I am NOT outgoing. I'm just sick and tired of hearing guys telling me what they want to do to me. It's disgusting. If I mutually desired you, I would've had my way with you already -_-. I'm a person, with feelings and a personality. And though I might not get offended easily, it hurts to see guys react to me in this way. I have way more to offer than my body. I have a sense of humor, I have interesting views, I'm smart, I'm easy to talk to. Why don't people see this in me? Why can't they look past my outside. And the worst part is my inside is prettier than my outside.
Btw, shoutout to King Asshole, because apparently he knows who he is. Glad you noticed.
Mood: A whole bunch of stuff.
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3 comments:
Of course he knows who he is, or else he wouldn't exist. It's called self-awareness.
Hey, to start this is a good post on alot of points.
So I shall start and try and help =3
"I'm also tired of being desired by so many guys thinking with their dicks."
Alot of guys do think with their dicks this is true.
But not all of us do. Alot of us can think with our minds.
But you make a good point with this because of the way most guys will act is with their dicks and be dicks to everyone.
just tell them to F@!# off :)
"I mean, yeah, sure, I can talk to anybody about this certain thing, but no one really has anything to say about it. I respect you listening and all, but some feedback would help. All i get is a bunch of nods and 'are you serious?'. It's not hard to give some feedback once and a while."
It all depends on who you talk with for feedback. You can talk to anyone and get nothing from them.. This is what annoys me with some people. they just don't want to help with other problems that are on top of their own -_-
"As for my personal life. Well, like I've said countless times before, I'm wanted by all the wrong people. Right and left people are going gaga over me (for reasons unknown) but that one person that I truly like and admire, is barely aware of my existence."
The guys that want you, going gaga. Well I'm pretty sure that they think they see something in you that they will like, but the fact that you are admiring someone else is possibly why those other guys would want you.(besides going over the whole body thing)
It could be that inside itself and the fact that they would want to do this and this with you but that they can not have you affects their heads a little too.
This is what people going to college avoid from high school, but sometimes its just a repetition of itself in the end.
If the guy you admire is not aware of your existence, make him aware.
Don't let it get you down. :)
"The even shittier thing is that it feels like I have no one to talk to. I mean, yeah, sure, I can talk to anybody about this certain thing, but no one really has anything to say about it. I respect you listening and all, but some feedback would help. All i get is a bunch of nods and 'are you serious?'. It's not hard to give some feedback once and a while. I'm not asking for a therapy session, just some proof that I'm not talking to the walls. It just makes my problems feel so unimportant."
that sucks that you feel that way kat considering i feel like i try and give you as much feedback as possible. i went through everything you did yesterday after you talked to "sean". i said you looked completely calm, really pretty, well dressed and i asked a whole bunch of questions about your conversation. i don't know what else could have been asked... :S
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